My Story
My Accident
Feb. 6th, 1996, it was a cold, snowy day. I had only been stateside for about two weeks after spending six months in Egypt on a peace keeping mission with the 3rd Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne out of Ft. Campbell, KY.
A friend wanted to go inner tubing at a local golf course that was popular on snowy days for inner tubers and sledders. My first run down the steep bank was my only one after going airborne as I went over the golf cart path. My feet rotated up and I landed on my head. In a split second I went from a muscular, "no fear attitude" guy to a 6' 174 lbs. lifeless body. I don't know what happened. I just know that I couldn't move or feel anything.
After arriving at the University of TN Medical Center via Lifestar Helicopter, I learned that I had shattered my fifth cervical vertebra in my neck leaving me paralyzed from the chest down and with limited arm movement. The life that I once knew and had was over!
A breakdown of my military career. It started on Oct. 5th 1994. I enlisted as an infantryman (11 Hotel MOS - Tow gunner) for two years and sixteen weeks. It was the shortest amount of time that I had to serve because I wanted to get back to playing football as quickly as I could. I did my basic training at Ft. Benning, GA where I became a platoon squad leader three weeks into training. I was the only guy out of our platoon of fifty-two soldiers to qualify "Expert" with the M16 rifle hitting 36 out of 40 targets in the rain. Through hard work and determination, I was promoted after graduation and rewarded "Soldier of 3rd Platoon". After graduation, I boarded a bus and arrived at Ft. Campbell, KY where I soon learned that I would be going to Sinai, Egypt for a peace keeping mission.
My Mistakes
I was blessed with a lot of athletic abilities growing up. I started playing basketball in the fifth grade and played for five years. I had a late growth spurt, so my shortness and lack of playing time took away my desire to play on a team after my freshman year in high school. Football and baseball were the two sports that I excelled at as I got older. I started playing both at the age of eight and played them for ten years.
As a senior at Sevier County High School, I had a really good year in both sports. In baseball, I led my team in batting avg., home runs, R.B.I., and stolen bases. I was the only member of the team to make the All-District Team as a center fielder and part-time pitcher. In football, I started my senior year being elected a co-captain by my teammates and was named one of TN Top 100 Seniors To Watch as a wide receiver. I finished the year being voted M.V.P., best offensive skills, and made the All-County Team. I was an honorable mentioned for the All-State Team. My last regular season game of the year I intercepted four out of five passes thrown as a free safety and broke the school record for interceptions in a game (4), and tied the school record for interception in a season with (8). I was named TN class AAA defensive player of the week.
I got to live out my childhood dream of getting to play football for the University of TN as a walk-on wide receiver. My highlight at UT was scoring the only receiving touchdown in our first spring scrimmage. Living out my dream as a football player for the TN Volunteers was short lived. A few weeks after the spring semester ended, I received a letter stating that I wouldn't be allowed to return to school due to my grades being below a 2.0 or "C" average. My GPA was around 1.18, barely a "D".
Not only did I get kicked out of school and off the football team, a week later I wrecked my Toyota 4-Runner drinking and driving. This was after getting a consumption of alcohol underage citation four months prior. Needless to say, the "living for the world" lifestyle that I had not only took away my dreams of playing football, it took away my vehicle and driving privileges, and it took away my opportunity to get an education. My "please myself mentality" could have taken away my life, or someone else's, while driving drunk. I hate to guess how much money was wasted on alcohol, my wrecked vehicle and the cost of college.
It took breaking my neck for me to acknowledge some of the things that I took for granted. My athletic abilities and calling myself a "Christian" were my two biggest mistakes. As I reflect on my athletic accomplishments, I feel like a failure. You may say, "Why? You won so many awards and broke records." According to 1 Corinthians 10:31, it says, "Whether you eat or drink, whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God." Instead of glorifying God with my abilities, I took the credit and used it for personal benefits.
I was such a hypocrite calling myself a Christian just because I went to church. I lied to those around me, stolen stuff, was fornicating and putting "worldly stuff" into my body because it felt good (alcohol and pot) all while going to church on Sundays. It breaks my heart thinking about those that I led down this lifestyle because I promoted it as fun and fulfilling!
I've made a lot of mistakes growing up and some still haunt me today, like dreaming I'm still playing football for UT. I wake myself up crying because I realize it's only a dream. The best thing about mistakes is we can learn from them whether they're our own, or from other people. That’s the reason I speak monthly at the local juvenile detention center and that’s why I shared my story with you. If you think God couldn’t love you because of mistakes you’ve made, you are WRONG. God can turn your MESS into a MESSAGE like He did with me.
I wouldn't be the man that I am today if I didn’t have my accident on that cold, February day, so I consider it a blessing! It hasn’t necessary been a fun journey because of the “bumps” and “valleys” I’ve been through living with a paralysis, but I do try to do what the bible says, “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16) and “count it all joy” (James 1:12) in my everyday life. Also, being paralyzed allows me to get "up close parking" at most places and it beats being dead and in hell for eternity! Turning lemons into lemonade!
My Purpose For Living
After spending seven months at the Charlie Norwood VA hospital in Augusta, GA for rehab, I returned home that Sept. to my new and uncertain life as a person with a spinal cord injury. I could raise both arms higher than my head and could pull things toward me (bicep muscle), but I don't have the ability to push (tricep muscle). I don't have the use of my fingers. I eat and brush my teeth with the aid of hand braces.
The chiseled body I worked so hard to get had gotten down to a 124 lbs. after getting a pressure sore on my tailbone immediately after arriving in Augusta. Instead of the typical two months rehabilitation stay, I spent the first five months bedridden trying to get the bedsore to heal. They ended up doing flap surgery taking skin off one of my butt cheeks and covering the golf ball size hole exposing my tail bone.
Here I was having turned twenty-one a couple days before leaving Egypt with my whole life ahead of me, to now being trapped in a body I had no control of needing my family to bath, dress and drive me around. How am I to live like this? Who will want to love someone like me? I had so many questions consuming my thoughts. I have to say if it wasn't for my family and so many people praying for me, I wouldn't be here today.
I was able to attend my little country church at the beginning of 1997. It was different than before. I felt the sermons speaking to me. On February 2nd, around 10:50 that night I was talking to my friend's father-in-law, who was a pastor, about bible verses pertaining to drinking. I wanted those I ran around with to experience this feeling I had once I got back into church. I've been asked multiply times if I was a Christian and my answer had always been, "Yes". That night I was asked, "Jason, if you died tonight, would you go to heaven?" I said, "I think I would". He said, "No, do you believe it?" All the sudden, all those moments of partying and such popped into my head, and I knew the answer was, "No". Right there on the phone I asked Jesus to come into my heart as my Lord and Savior, and asked Him to forgive me of my sins.
Tears began to flow down my cheeks because I just sealed my eternity in heaven. I was overcome with peace and happiness. I immediately went upstairs to tell my family. I grew up in church and knew about Jesus coming to earth (Christmas) as a sinless man and He gave Himself up as a sacrifice to pay the price for ALL sin, and three days later He arose from the tomb (Easter). What I didn't realize is that being a Christian doesn't come about by going to church or believing in God, because the bible says that the devil believes in God and trembles. (James 2:19) Being a Christian comes ONLY by repenting of your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior. That's what I had failed to do! I was going through the motion by going to church and using that as an excuse to live the way I wanted to. I had no personal relationship with Jesus.
I started reading the bible every morning. I wanted to know more about God and His plans for me. Those I thought were my "friends" before my accident were no longer around. The girl I had been dating for thirteen months didn't even come to see me once I returned home from the hospital. I was a part of many sporting teams and a soldier in the United States Army, but I was so alone and felt unwanted. My soul was crushed! In the bible, I found a LOVE that was unconditional no matter of the abilities I lost (John 3:16) and it wasn't based on my outward self. (1st Samuel 16:7)
The more I read the more God spoke to me. Being alone wasn't such a bad thing because my eyes were opened to things with meaning and I started healing from all the hurt people has caused me. But I still wasn't sure what to do with my life. Roman 8:28 says, "All things work together for GOOD to those who love God, those who are called according to His PURPOSE". Wow! Things will work together for GOOD. I like the sound of that, but I don't know if I can handle being in a wheelchair. I can't even move my fingers, walk or drive. God says in Proverbs 3:5-6 to "TRUST in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." So, because of God's LOVE and the fact that He'll NEVER leave me (Hebrews 13:5), all I must do is TRUST in Him and not my understanding of things, and everything will be GOOD because there is a PURPOSE to my life. That sounds like a plan I can live with, but God, how am I supposed to do whatever it is you planned for me? I can barely lift five pounds.
During basic training I heard this verse and it jumped out to me! "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. Not my strength but the strength that God gives me. That became my life verse after my accident using it to encourage me to never give up, stay positive and to live with a purpose! It is with that verse and many others that took me back to the University of Tennessee in 2003 where I lived on my own for six years, only having help to come in two hours in the mornings and nights to get me dressed and situated for the day. He/she would reverse the process at night. Through FAITH and God's blessings, I left college with a bachelor's degree in Social Work and a master's degree in Rehabilitation Counseling. Not bad for someone who had a 1.18 GPA at his first attempt at college, and types using his right pinkie knuckle. God is GOOD!
Please click on three red lines in the top left corner to read about "My Passion" and "What's your purpose for living." For those who play Call of Duty, hit me up "For His Glory42"